Thursday

It's OK to grieve

When your the only one who has lost a child in your circle of influence ie: your family and friends, it can be extremely hard to have someone to relate to.  Don't discount the advice and encouragement they give you; but on the other side of the coin, don't discount your own heart. Be gentle on yourself and know that there are no rules in grieving.

I am trying to figure out how to grieve right now and what that means to me.  I have decided that it is now time to start healing.

This is not easy because when I did have my loss, I was bombarded with ways on how to grieve. 
I was told that there is a time limit to grieve.
I was told to stay strong.
I was told that it will get better soon.
I was told to get over it.
I was told to only cry by myself.
I was told to stay strong for my family.
The list goes on and on.

Now keep in mind that this advice was intended to help me and it did for a while.  Then I had a breakdown.  I couldn't drive, I couldn't go to the grocery store, I was put on medication, I began to lose myself and I became consumed in grief.  Looking back now in reflection, I can say that my body was ready to grieve but my mind and my heart wasn't.  I was sweeping my feelings under the rug and I was becoming numb and robotic. I didn't want to believe that my son was gone and he was never coming back.

I am now in a different place.  My heart and mind is now ready to grieve and it is not easy.  I am taking it one day at a time and I encourage you to do the same.

Take time when your ready to grieve. Don't rely on others to determine your growth and time period for grief.  Pray, seek professional help, join a grief group and be gentle on yourself.

It's OK.

You're alive and you will survive!

So here's to grieving and all that it means to you and me!
Until next time
Olivia Myles


3 comments:

  1. Wow.

    My heart just broke.

    Feel privileged to share in this season of life with you.

    In His comfort,

    -kim

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  2. I'm so sorry about your son. Hi and welcome to MBC.

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  3. Hi Olivia,

    I just found your blog through NetworkedBlogs on Facebook. I am so so sorry you lost your precious Josiah; he looks so adorable!

    We also lost a child; we lost our 19-year-old-daughter two and a half years ago. I also started a blog to walk through my grief and also to help others going through this incredible pain. You are welcome to join me on my blog as well!

    Even though I am a therapist, I had no idea the incredible pain I would be facing in losing my child. I do have the Lord's comfort, but as I tell my friends, God is not an anesthesia to the pain! Rather, God meets me IN the pain! I am so very thankful for His comfort, and for those who come alongside me in my grief.

    I look forward to getting to know you better through your blog! Congratulations on your career goals as you want to help other grieving parents.

    My prayers will be with you and with your family as you continue to grieve. May God be especially close to you in your grief,

    Angie

    http://mothergrievinglossofchild.blogspot.com

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