I am trying to figure out how to grieve right now and what that means to me. I have decided that it is now time to start healing.
This is not easy because when I did have my loss, I was bombarded with ways on how to grieve.
I was told that there is a time limit to grieve.
I was told to stay strong.
I was told that it will get better soon.
I was told to get over it.
I was told to only cry by myself.
I was told to stay strong for my family.
The list goes on and on.
Now keep in mind that this advice was intended to help me and it did for a while. Then I had a breakdown. I couldn't drive, I couldn't go to the grocery store, I was put on medication, I began to lose myself and I became consumed in grief. Looking back now in reflection, I can say that my body was ready to grieve but my mind and my heart wasn't. I was sweeping my feelings under the rug and I was becoming numb and robotic. I didn't want to believe that my son was gone and he was never coming back.
I am now in a different place. My heart and mind is now ready to grieve and it is not easy. I am taking it one day at a time and I encourage you to do the same.
Take time when your ready to grieve. Don't rely on others to determine your growth and time period for grief. Pray, seek professional help, join a grief group and be gentle on yourself.
You're alive and you will survive!
So here's to grieving and all that it means to you and me!
Until next time